Lovers, Friends and Families

Self care
          Taking care of ourselves
          Support
Telltale signs present in early Tina use
Someone we care about is a problem Tina user
Partners

Support

The focus of substance use support is often on the user. Those who are in relationship with the user also need support. The reality is that more people are affected by Tina use than use Tina. We understand this and recognize the need. We’ve been there. That’s why we have provided the online resources in this section.

It’s important to know that we are not alone. We may be isolated by our own shame and guilt at having a friend, lover or family member who is having a problem with crystal meth. It’s an illegal substance after all and mainstream media has tended to present worse case scenarios. We may have our own misconceptions and fear judgments of others. We simply may not know how to talk about it with friends, co-workers or other family members.

We’re also likely to be having strong feelings about our loved one’s use and it’s impacts. These commonly include fear, anger, sadness and frustration. One of the most difficult experiences a mother, brother or partner will ever go through is witnessing the downward spiral of crystal meth dependence in someone they love. The impacts can progress quickly and they can be devastating. It can look, feel, and sometimes is, a path of self-destruction.

Coping with these changes can be overwhelming. On top of that we may have little or no experience in setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, practicing ‘tough love’ and detachment. Signs of poor coping can include eating, drinking or smoking more, trouble sleeping, disruption in normal appetite, fatigue, missing work, pulling away from friends because you're too caught up in stress at home, trying to hide our loved one’s use or thinking they just don't want to hear you gripe about it anymore. These are warning signs that we are losing ourselves and beginning to experience stress impacts. It’s time to (re)emphasize self-care.

In addition to the resources in this section, we strongly encourage exploring options of outside support. The benefits of support be they groups or professional counseling are many.

• Allows the focus to return to us. Our feelings, needs and experience are the focus for that time at least.

• Encourages us to know and more importantly feel that we are not alone in this journey. Meeting other people and learning about other’s experiences can provide comfort.

• We experience validation of our experience. We all need this and are unlikely to receive it from people who haven’t been there or from the user.

• We gain insights and tools that can help us manage the stress, be more effective helpers, and grow as individuals.

• We are reminded, encouraged and inspired to engage in self-care.

In keeping with the importance of self-care and support as a way to nurture it, we have included services that will help you in the Resource Guide.