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Close Call

P is a friend of mine. I’m an older gay man who frequently visits TO on business. I first saw P in a bar; hanging with an older guy who I knew was a drug dealer. P is gorgeous and at some point when he caught me looking at him, he came over and started to hustle me. I took him out to dinner. And we TALKED. And we talked more in my hotel room (just talked). He gave me his name and number and I gave him the money he wanted. As soon as he left, I googled him to find out if his incredible story was true. It was.

P was an artist and a prodigy – full scholarship to one of the finest art and design schools in the world, critical acclaim, world travel, awards – it was all there. But he had been too young, alone in a big foreign city, discovering his gayness and the party scene – and discovering Tina. Needless to say, he got kicked out of school as a result. And now he was selling his beautiful little body on the streets of Toronto to feed his love for Tina. And he talked of Tina in tones of a lover. It was the focus of his life; his art abandoned.

P and I got together every time I was in town for dinner and conversation (only). I couldn’t credibly talk to him about his love without ever having met her, so twice we did crystal together in my hotel room. I readily understood the attraction. Tina is fun company!

When I wasn’t in town, we kept in touch by phone and chat. P quickly got a retail job and stopped selling his body but Tina was still his love. Over time, he started to notice the effects of such a dirty drug on his body, but it was when he found he couldn’t get through a work day without sneaking out for a bump, that he knew that he was no longer in control of the relationship. He wanted out.

He reported his progress to me regularly. He slipped a few times along the way, but always told me because (he later said) I didn’t judge him, just listened and encouraged. His method of quitting Tina is not recommended for people with strongly addictive personalities – he still does the party circuit and has substituted other recreational drugs, including cocaine (which he seems to be able to control much more easily).

He works out regularly and takes care of himself in other ways. He now has a much better job in the fashion industry and is proud of his accomplishments. He hasn’t seen Tina in over a year and I think his sense of self-worth will keep him from ever seeing her again.

P has not gone back to his art – and that is a continuing tragedy to lay at the feet of Tina; maybe one day. His life is back on track and he is happy. I’m grateful I just happened to be in the right place at the right time to help P in whatever small way and to make a friend with whom to share some of the finer things the city has to offer – and Tina sure isn’t one of them. It’s a life-destroyer, and it came so close to destroying the life of a beautiful and gifted friend.

- D.G., Sudbury